Knittus Interruptus Pt. 1

Why are the Lace Gods mad at me?
Just tell me what I did and I'll repent! I'll finally get around to spinning that damn alpaca that I bought in New Hampshire 2 years ago...I'll swear off cheap, dull bamboo needles forever I'll even air out my stash...Just tell me what to do!

Why the drama you might ask? Well it all started with my friend Gwarcita (Raverly handle ) asking me to join her in a Mystery Lace KAL on Raverly. Seems innocent enough, no?
"Great!" I thought. "I signed up for that knitting lace shawls class on Craftsy.com MONTHS ago and never got around to doing that...maybe this will launch me into the world of lace that I so badly want to be included in."

Confession: I'm one of those knitters that loves the look of lace but never thought I would have the urge to actually do them. I see things like the above (btw- How freaking awesome and cute is Franklin Habit?!) and my heart says 'yes!' but my mind likes to remind me that I like to do things like drink wine and watch bad teen movies while I knit. I like to pretend that the gaping hole in my sock or the obvious enormity of the sweater I just made is going to 'block out' somehow. I'm not a really 'quality' knitter. I knit for knits sake. So, not really the lace type right? And anyway, where am I ever going to wear a lace shawl? Dang.

So anyway, although I knew I should have stayed away, instead I say an enthusiastic Hell Yes! to this KAL with visions of me on a windy cliff of Dover, gorgeous lacy tendrils whipping around my face.
Or at least I thought maybe I'd learn something along the way.

Oh I learned something alright.

You know you have a problem when you make a stupid mistake again and again and you keep telling yourself that it was the yarn/needles/math/pattern/distraction/etc not you?
Yeah. It's you.
Here's the thing, I had enough yarn when I started, I really did. Called for 400 yds, I had 400 yds! I was trying really hard to be thrifty! To prove the husband wrong- I in fact DID knit from my stash.

It was beautiful. Yummy soft rusty red melt in your hands Alpaca with a Twist. Socrates. Solar Explosion.
Oh. That's a fingering weight not a lace weight you say? Mmmm. Well really, how much could it really matter?

See that teeny tiny little wee pile of sad yarn over to the side there. That's all that's left. Of course the pattern has 10 rows of 12,000 stitches* each and the wee pile just won't cover it. I actually sat there for a full 30 minutes at 11pm at night trying to ignore the wee pile thinking that if I just believed hard enough it would be enough yarn. I kept trying to channel Jesus with the fishes. Honestly.

Told you I had a problem.  It's called DENIAL. And yes, indeed it is not just a river in Egypt.

There's more to my slight with the Deities of Yarn Overs but after reliving the horrors of The Great Knittus Interruptus of June 2012 I really am feeling rather overwrought and it will have to wait for another night.



* slight exaggeration perhaps